Maybe the problem was that you were getting too hung up on all the physical stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's very thorough, and probably would have been of use to the author for what to avoid next time (assuming he cares about that), but I'm not sure this kind of detailed section-by-section breakdown really works for a review - at some point you could have just said "and the rest of the physical stuff has issues too. Moving onto the social details...".
I think a more useful (and much shorter) review would have provided more of an overview of your opinion of each section, rather than picking out all the flaws and faults in everything that was said. You could provide one or two examples to illustrate the problems that you found, but you don't have to describe all of them!
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